Hate and stupid are swear words

hate is a 4 letter word
Sometimes there are words that just do not need to be said. We can give our kids alternatives to help describe feelings… and avoid “detestable” words!

Hate and stupid are some of those words that just need not be said. Because of this we’ll just go ahead and call them swear words. Words that are banned and worthy of a discussion at least. Here’s the thing- very few things can actually be hated. Like the word stupid, hate just is a cop-out on actually describing feelings or really thinking.

This post came about because I realize that we all have points when we realize our kids starting using words we don’t use and we wonder WHAT? I mean when your child starts using the word “stupid” as in… “that’s so stupid.” Where does this come from?

But we all have our things, right? I mean, some families allow curse words, others do not. Sometimes, we just need to give our kids tools, and descriptive language can be useful.

Hate is a 4 letter word

Growing up, “hate” was a 4 letter word. It wasn’t to be used. You can’t tell someone you hate them. Hate is such a strong word and it really leaves little room to talk about the real emotions happening behind that feeling.

Kids need alternative words to help describe their feelings.

  • loatche
  • detest
  • despise
  • dislike
  • abhor
  • execrate
  • be repelled by
  • unable to stand
  • find intoleratable
  • makes me want to puke

Okay, maybe not the last one, but really, there are many words other than hate, and often, our kids aren’t feeling the strong words like abhor. Instead, they may dislike how someone is treating them. They may feel SAD that they were left out.

Now we can say, “I hate to bother you, but I can’t help but notice you’re sitting in my seat” is something potentially WORTH using hate. Rather than saying hate or stupid, we can give our kids alternatives. It’ll build their vocabulary and also help get to the root problem.

We’re all different, we all have things we allow or can’t handle. I get it. But, sometimes we just have things that get us, even if it is because it was something handed down to us.

Do you have any words you don’t let your kids use?

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One comment

  1. When my girls were growing up, I didn’t allow them to say stupid, hate, or can’t. Those were unacceptable words in my home, and still are. I won’t allow that from my granddaughter, if or when she comes home saying those words. I’m worried because she starts school this year, and some kids say worse than these. Those will be a different kind of unacceptable. Curse words are different, but stupid and hate belittles. I don’t tolerate belittling more so than curse words. Curse words are just a unimaginative way to describe feelings or things. As far as the word can’t goes, that’s just belittling yourself.


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