There are plenty of mom’s groups out there. Online only. In person. Some organized by churches. Others require you to send in your photo before being accepted (yes there are some called “Hot Mamas of X” vicinity). Then there are drama mama groups. There are groups out there (mostly internet based it seems) whose entire goal is to just complain and bring people down. When did we lose the real friendships? Why is it so hard to make friends as adults?
Finding a mom’s group shouldn’t be so hard
Really – finding a group shouldn’t be so hard. Most of us are out of high school – so we should be able to be adults and say – you know what, we don’t have much in common and we don’t have a lot to say to each other so let’s just move on. Or hey we don’t have a lot in common on the surface, but we’re both parents and even if we do things differently we still can see value in the other.
I don’t run a mom’s group or anything but if I did I realize that as adults with differing views and backgrounds rules likely would come into play. I’d make them pretty simple.
10 Rules to a Good Mom’s Group
- Parenting isn’t a contest.
- I am not always right
- You are not always right
- There is no right or wrong suggestions from friends. Take what works and leave the rest.
- Get to know moms of different ages.
- Get to know moms with kids of different ages.
- Don’t expect everyone to be your best friend.
- Don’t leave someone out on purpose.
- Have fun.
Mom’s Group Rules may also include things like:
- Sick kid policy
- Appropriate discipline
The reason is that we have a lot more in common than we have differences. We all wonder if we’re doing the right thing. We all worry more with the first kid than the second. And the third? From what I hear sand has mineral content and may count as a meal
I’ve become less judgmental by thinking two things:
Everyone has a reason for what they’re doing – even if it is something way different from my choices.
I don’t need to know.
The big one for me is the second one. I’m nosy. I’ll admit that! So I don’t need to know if that kid is a boy or girl.
Here’s the other thing I’d love to get out there:
Just because I choose differently it doesn’t mean I think it is something that is best for everyone.
And it definitely doesn’t mean that I have time to care whether or not you use coconut oil and kale. Those aren’t part of a mom’s group rules, just choices someone else makes. Don’t like it? Choose something else.