What are the basics of Attachment Parenting? Parenting from the heart? Starting out with the ideal to bond? Ask 100 parents and their definition will each be different – because what defines attachment parenting is that it is a starter style – an idea more than an ideal.
How many Bs are there in attachment parenting?
A Yahoo post said 3 but that was news to me. Perhaps there are 7? Maybe 8? In the end, there likely are no numbers, as parenting can’t be quantified in such a discreet manner. Instead there are some ideas that can be renamed into the “Bs” of attachment parenting.
The focus is the BOND between parent and child.
- Birth – Prepare for birth and aware during pregnancy.
- Bed sharing
- Belief in Baby’s Cries
- Balance and boundaries
- Beware of baby trainers
What If I don’t do all the Bs of attachment parenting?
There are guidelines, these “Bs” are just that: there are no rules.
- You can have a cesarean and multiple tests and interventions throughout pregnancy and be an attached parent
- You can bottle feed and be an attachment parent
- You can use a stroller and swing and be an attached parent
- You can have a crib on the opposite side of your house and be an attached parent
The Attachment Parenting International has a broader definition of attachment parenting for those who like lists. They don’t use “just Bs” so those who may not breastfeed or those who choose to room share over bed share aren’t “alienated” perhaps. Read more about them on their website.
The true Basics of attachment parenting
In the end the idea is that you respond to your baby. It doesn’t mean you never get a pedicure again. It doesn’t mean you give up your career. No matter what, parenting will change you. In the end, it isn’t the method of parenting and there’s no contest to speak of. But there is that bond and trust that you and your child have.
In all honesty, attachment parenting chose me. I’m not the huggy type – AT ALL. So, for me, the ideas behind attachment parenting in a way forced me to give my babies the gentle touch, and time they craved. Now, with a 3 year old and a 5 year old, there are new challenges and I’m always learning. I know I’m working on rebuilding trust with my daughter and we’re both testing and finding that balance and boundary line after our move across the world.
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Do we really even need labels for how we parent? Likely not, but as society we tend to use them a lot and for some having a basic guide helps since really, there is no one right way to parent. Each child is different and their needs are different. So the starter style of some of the ideas behind attachment parenting can work as a basic parenting philosophy for many.